Unable to sleep, so I played a bit with pencil marks, which I'd like to translate into stitches, on a self-portrait of my back.
Thinking about stitching lines and and swirls. Very rough and preliminary. I can see the beginnings of a twisted, almost snake-like scroll down my spinal column. I like where that is going. And big bowed shapes along my shoulder blades. The simple lines of hair remind me of a fountain But the parenthesis of rib lines... these are just beginnings of ideas.
And the hip lines I'm completely unsure about. Maybe there doesn't need to be anything there at all. Maybe I should let that be an empty expanse of space and not embellish it at all with marks, lines and stitches. I'll have to play with the image some more when I get back into town from my trip to the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia to see my beloved Keefie.
As very rough and basic as it is, it feels good to be sketching again. Oh, yes.
Tell me if you know. I can’t stop listening to this astonishing song recommended by my brilliant friend Joe in Brooklyn, an amazing, musical man with ranging, eclectic taste. How did he know I would love it so much? Lucky me for having friends like this. Sometimes you are just fortunate for no good reason.
“Good Intentions Paving Company,” by Joanna Newsom is the most beautiful, weird, raw, surprising song I’ve heard in a long time. And yet, I recognize that it might me hugely annoying to other people.
And, although I can’t see when I listen because the tears almost instantly blur my vision (the song is so beautiful and “mysterious” as Joe described it), I’m moved to try to stitch it, the beautiful lyrics and the strange, fluttering, surprising vocalizing, the changing tempos, the moods.
It feels like a layered tapestry, this song. It makes me feel like something cracked open inside me. And I didn’t know that I could crack open any more. I’m going to be nothing but a pile of shards at the end of my short existence. How to stitch these layered emotions… No clue, but I will try.
I think Newsom, this artist (at least as far a this song goes) lives in such a crazy, free, open, honesty and fearlessness. And I know that I can (as much as anyone who supports herself by working for a corporation) live in this kind of honesty… I always have, often to my own detriment. But to live in this kind of fearlessness to say and create whatever I can possibly imagine… I want to be in that place in my life. I crave it. I’m not there, now. But, I am getting closer by inches…
My favorite line, squeaked out in a scary high register without any apologies on her part, is:
“And am in love with the hook
Upon which everyone hangs”
When you’re in love with the thing holding us all up and it is not defined… it is a hard way to live.
Surprisingly fun times on Saturday with Juline at the Maker Faire NC in Raleigh! Must admit, I haven’t been in a “making for sale” mode for a very long time, but I went to support Juline and OJ Designs. Juline sold her beautiful, spiral felt earrings and necklaces and her embroidered felt hair clips (both available on etsy.) Lucky me, she even made me a pair of felt drop earrings!
Spiral felt necklace, by Juline, OJ Designs
Maker Faire is a hands on event, not just a craft sale, so OJ Designs had a very popular button making table and, freakishly exciting for me, I got to teach kids how to make my simple Felt Popsicles Plushies! This was amazing!! The design is insanely basic, but walking kids (as young as 4) through the process of cutting, gluing, stitching, stuffing and assembling a smiling, google-eyed popsicle plushie was oddly energizing! (I’m not a kid person, I admit.)
They showed such focus, such determination! And they held needles and STITCHED with their chubby little fingers! I was teaching STITCHING! They’d look up at me, not believing they could do it, could stitch ALL THE WAY AROUND the edge. I untangled many a string. They stuffed their little plush toys with "cotton candy you can't eat." But in the end, they smiled with insane glee when they held up the little, smiling popsicle friend that they’d just created with their own two hands! SHAZAM! How inspiring and fun it was to walk them through that.
One little girl was very proud to say that she was taking sewing classes and had a sewing machine. Most of them had stitched before, but a few hadn’t. The six-year-old little girl who was with her parents all day at the booth behind ours held her popsicle all day. I even saw her kissing it late in the afternoon, as her eyes got heavy with sleep. How sweet and amazing is that?!
So, hell yeah, that was a surprisingly fun day. Who knew that I’d like teaching kids to make something so much? That I would find it inspiring? Not me, that’s for damn sure. I know that crafting with kids a a huge part of the crafting community, but for me... I’m an artist, not a teacher. I swear and make inappropriate comments, not suited for children (but I didn't yesterday!) Life is so freaking surprising and odd.
Making weirdly slow progress on the Octo-Boxers (I’m digging this new name for the boxers coined by a clever new person I've met online, but not yet in person.) But I’m still enjoying making them for my friend in Brooklyn. Just have to decide how inappropriately wacky I want them to be.
Other than that, just slowly, haltingly, trying to make it through each day, connect with friends, new and old, and embrace the moment. Stitch the moment. THANK YOU to everyone who has been so kind and supportive of me, both online and in 3D, as I stumble through this tumultuous time of change and uncertainty in my life.
People are freaking awesome. Most of the time. Gaw.
***************** Maker Faires are held all over the US, so check them out because there is likely one in your area. It is a super cool event that describes itself as a celebration of “Makers, Crafters, Inventors, Evil Geniuses, Scientists and Artists.” There were crafters AND robot fighting and hacking clubs (I didn’t know such things existed!) and all kinds of ways to get your geek on.
Sometimes I wonder why 2011 is a year of so much loss and turmoil for me.
Fortunately, no one I love has died, so I don’t mean loss in that sense. I mean loss in the less of losing two people from my life that meant so much to me for so many years, two of the people I was closest to. (One person I left and the other person violently, without warning ejected me from her life.) Lost ideas of how to construct a happy, full life for myself. Lost my comfortable home and my beautiful dog (I left my home and my dog.) Loss of a fantasy about a relationship that turned out to be a mirage. The loss of so much that I thought I knew about myself, so very, very much. I feel like my heart has shattered.
There are days (well, most days) that I wake up in my empty, beige summer sublet apartment and I’m not sure how I’m going to get out of the bed and face the aloneness. I often feel this almost vertiginous, floating feeling, like I’m not connected to anything on the Earth… like gravity isn’t going to hold me any more and I’m going to slip outside of the Earth’s atmosphere into vast, cold space.
A good friend of mine told me that, in those situations, I should do something grounding, like stitch, do 10 push-ups or masturbate; all three at the same time if possible! (He has a fabulously wicked sense of humor and approach to life.) But, despite the joke, there is truth in there.
So for now, all I can do to try to get through all of this loss, confusion and sadness is stitch and live in the moment. And I desperately cling to the belief (at times, this belief is just a flickering candle flame, barely staying lit at all) that all of these changes that I’m trying to make in my life are going to lead me to a new place, full of possibility and opportunity and, at least for a few moments, joy.
So, I’ve been in the middle of some dramatic personal changes in my life that somehow don’t seem entirely appropriate for this blog, but I’m about being a honest person and an honest maker, so I’m going to share a few personal things.
In the last few months I’ve gone through some major changes. I’ve moved out of my home and I’m living on my own for the first time ever in my life. I’m separated from my husband of many years. I’m trying to find my way in the world as an independent, single person. Parts of this are terrifying. Parts are thrilling. I realize that this is something that women do every single day, but to me it is a huge freaking deal. Throughout this time I’ve been really struggling with finding a place for my creativity in my life. My making and stitching and drawing have been minimal, but always there. I know that it is going to take a while for me to get this going again and it will come and go in fits and starts, but I’m happy to say that I’m working on two projects again. Finally!
The first is this embroidered pair of boxers for a friend of mine. The design is from an ancient Greek image of an octopus. I have big, totally playful intentions for this very personal piece. I love the idea of making something that is worn under the clothes. It may get a little racy.
The second is a self-portrait based on a series of photos that I took of my own naked back reclining in my new bed, on my new berry-colored sheets. After I tried many images, my darling friend Alex helped me photograph it more clearly than I could do with my tripod and self-timer. And my sweet friend Juline helped me pick out some good ground fabric. For now, I’m just posting about the gift for my friend, but I’ll soon blog about the new self-portrait I’m doing.
It feels amazing to be back stitching, drawing and creating again! Thank you SO MUCH to my friends, my parents and the amazing online community for being so supportive as I find my way in my new life!!
Yes, I've been under a rock for the last several weeks. OK, not a rock, but I've been caught up in some dramatic personal issues. My stitching and creativity have been on the back burner as I deal with the storms.
Imagine my shock and pleasure in getting an email from my sweet (and incredibly talented) friend Juline tonight letting me know that my Turntable embroidery was featured in a mosaic photo collection on http://www.whipup.net/. (It is the very bottom right corner.)
That website has been such an amazing resource for me. I can't remember how I initially found the site, but I've go back to it all of the time for inspiration, great links, amazing tutorials and fabulous book reviews on all things crafty.
So, having my Turntable embroidery included in a flickr group photo montage is super meaningful and motivating to me. When things settle down (hopefully by next weekend) it will be back to stitching and creating. I have the self-portrait embroidered piece picked out and ready to transfer to a ground fabric and stitch up. I can't wait!!
I also CAN NOT thank enough the generous folks who commented on my last post, encouraging me to work through my personal drama so that I can get back to stitching. You comments have meant so much to me as a I sort through (both figuratively and literally) all of my stuff to prepare for my next move. Thank you, fabulous community of crafters and artists, for providing this support in my darkest times. And thank you to Kath Red at Whip Up. net for including my recent work. Now, back to stitching for me!
I've always loved that line from Dylan's "Tom Thumb Blues." For crazy, over-the-top inspiration, you just can't beat the town of my birth.
Hine Mizushima
To say I was overwhelmed by the Needle Felting Extravaganza at the Gallery Hanahou is an understatement. I was utterly blown away by the needle felted creations of Hine Mizushima and Yoko Nomura. I wandered around the little white gallery space for an hour, almost in tears, just absorbing their boundless imagination and the beauty of their alternate, woolly realities.
First up, HineMizushima's collection, "The Unnatural History Museum." Several of the pieces were little, crazy treasures pinned in red boxes, like the curiosities of an obsessed Victoria gentleman. Ectoplasm in tubes, red ants and fanciful neurons. Doll girls displaying their organs with blissful little faces.
Hine Mizushima
Hine Mizushima
Hine Mizushima
Next, Yoko Nomura's, "Fractured Fairy Tales." Absurdly cute little bears and rabbits engaged in all manner of dark, fairy tale mayhem. The contrast between their adorable faces and the weird activities they engaged it left me feeling wonderfully unbalanced.
Yoko Nomura
Yoko Nomura
Yoko Nomura
These look great on the screen, but to see them in person, to see behind the pieces, was like savoring the most decadent hot fudge sundae versus licking on a soft serve cone. Their talent and skill was like an actual energy field rippling through the gallery space.
Yoko Nomura
I'm a little adrift in my own creative and personal life right now. A little unhinged, unable to land in a sunny spot and focus on anything. This weekend I hope to spend some time refocusing and reconnecting to that tiny piece of myself that allows me to access a miniature aperture into the playful fields of these artists.
I will start very small and focus on a piece of myself, my ears, and do some thread-sketching. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a (hopefully) grounding way. A tiny piece of a self-portrait.
As a treat, I purchased one of Hine Mizushima's tiny red ants! I plan to keep this guy close to me as I find my way back.
I’m headed up to NYC , land of my birth, this weekend. Woot! Going see old friends, including finally meeting Maeve, the little Irish princess that I made this sweater for.
This show features the work of four needlefelting goddesses who I have long admired, Moxie, Hine Mizushima, Kit Lane and Yoku Nomura. I own a few pieces by Yoku Nomura (aka feltmates), including this insanely cool panda brooch that I purchased her etsy shop. I’d wear every day if I could.
I plan to roam, have cocktails, play with old friends and just enjoy myself. For me that means looking for fabric for my Andy Warhol embroidery piece, seeking out lumnious fibers and threads, visiting the Japanese toy store and pursuing all things handmade. Hopefully I won't freeze to death, as I've become a bit thin-blooded from living in the warm South for so many years. (It was 83F/28C degrees in Durham, NC, today!)
Looking forward to three days of doing whatever I want!
Over 120 Cork Gnomes hit the streets and parks of Durham, NC, yesterday, thanks the devious plotting and maniacal knitting of the Durham String Thing.
The little cuties found new homes in the toes of an enormous metal camel sculpture, nestled in the bells of beautiful spring tulips, cuddled up against an enormous houka pipe on Ninth Street, leaning against the gothic spirals of the Duke Chapel and hiding inside parking meters, among many other locations. One even flew into the open car window of a passing car and was caught by a lucky, suspiciously festive young Durham man.
For now, here is a fantastic composite created by the amazing Kay (a.k.a. “little red”) featuring the adventures of Katherine, Kay and myself as we found new homes for some of the little gnomes. Click on the image to see it better.
(I’m the dark haired one in black making a lot of crazy faces.)
Oh, Tom, how I love you. Just say the word and I’d recklessly fall onto the lawn with you, even though I am some else’s wife.
You’ve made dying your hair in the bathroom of a Texaco sound so beautiful.
I requested a custom order of this magenta embroidery of my great, broken love from the fantastically talented Giggly Mama and I could not adore the piece more!
Giggly Mama (whose real name is Shannon) is a stitching goddess. I cannot believe the detail and expression she captured in satin stitch. She has amazing skill and she stitched this with great speed. I requested the item from her etsy shop on Saturday and it made its way from California to NC by Wednesday.
I first came across her work in the Phat Quarter group on flickr. She is one of those people you meet online who you wish you could know in 3D. She is so generous and supportive, in addition to being immensely talented. I’m still so new to embroidery and her encouragement has meant to world to me. Seeing her beautiful embroidery in person only makes me admire her more.
Tom was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this week. Congratulations, my grave-voiced sugar man! I'm not generally a swooning woman... but for you... I can't help myself.
“Hey little bird, fly away home
Your house is on fire; your children are alone
Hey little bird, fly away home
Your house is on fire; your children are alone
Schiffer broke a bottle on Morgan's head
And I've been stepping on the devil's tail
Across the stripes of full moon's head
Through the bars of a Cuban jail
Bloody fingers on a purple knife
A flamingo drinking from a cocktail glass
I'm on the lawn with someone else's wife
Come admire the view from up on top of the mast”
From “Jockey Full of Bourbon” (Special thanks to Jessica W for the floating hands shot!)
Tonight in the Independent Weekly Online, "Heaps of little creatures are prepping for debut, from bitty bunnies to budding bulbs and... lucky little cork gnomes, as the Indy staff has learned.
The news came in an "a-gnome-ymous" letter of Lilliputian proportion, attached to this little guy (or gal?). Locals will start spotting these little cuties beginning March 20, according to the message." Read the complete Indy piece here.
And don't forget to track their adventures at the newly created tumblr blog, Cork Gnome Home.
A little friend was just spotted in Seattle!! Oh my!!
When I was very young, I met Andy Warhol and he drew me this picture.
I love how crooked the heart is!
My meeting with Warhol has some odd details, which I will write about another time.
Once I finish this pink biohazard pillow, my next stitching project is to embroider this Warhol message. The search is on for good background fabric. I'm just not sure what I want... Any ideas are welcome!
Look out, Durham, NC! On March 20th, an unholy army of cork gnomes will descend upon you! They will be hiding in secret places downtown, on Ninth Street and in other locations TBD.
Look at these murderous faces.
And if you’re lucky enough to stumble upon one and take it home… alas, I cannot say what will befall you.
Brought to you by the devious fiberistas of Durham String Thing, of which I am a card-carrying member.
My days have been consumed with knitting these Korknisse. To make my gnomes, I’ve modified the original pattern, found on raverly and designed by Manne. (An English version of the pattern, translated from the Norwegian by Saartje, can be found here: )
More details to come, gentle Durham. Do not be afraid!
To me, the biohazard symbol is thing of great elegance.
How can something that warns us against such menace as medical waste be so lovely, with its graceful circles and arcs? Oh, Dow Chemicals, you employed a talented designer back in the 1960s. (I’m sure he smoked and drank scotch in his office to get through his days.)
I’m trying to stitch it up in pink on a simple quilted pillow top that I made in colors that cheer me.
My first attempt to transfer the biohazard symbol onto the dark fabric center, using a white, washable transfer pencil on my light box, failed. I just couldn’t make out the image well enough to use it as a guide to stitch.
So I traced the image onto Sulky Solvy, and taped that onto the fabric. I’m stitching the outline through the Sulky Solvy, which isn’t as pleasant as stitching through fabric alone.
Stitching is a visceral experience for me and It just feels slightly naughty to force the needle through the plastic film… but it is kind of fun, too. I love the little pop sound that the Sulky Solvy makes with each stitch. Delightfully strange, kind of like the biohazard symbol.
